bristow12

i took down my name plate off of my locker today. (sigh). only two more days

things to know right now:

1 i WILL graduate this saturday (whoo hoo!)
2 i DID get a job offer from shelby county
3 i DID quite jefferson this morning
4 i WILL start the police academy sept 1st in Anniston AL
5 i WILL be away for 4 months (sad day)
6 i WILL commute from the ham until next summer


that is all for now... i think...

new damn update. Shelby County now has an opening. Mrs. Vikki called and told me to postpone signing anything with Jeff Co. So now i gotta spread out doing stuff for them to see if anything is gonna pan out with the other county.

Cross your fingers!!!

oh and I got a new cell phone. I like it. LG shine :)

ok so here's how my past week has gone:

Monday: had interview with Jeff co.
Tuesday: Polygraph exam. that was scary, never done one before
Yesterday: Psych evaluation. Contrary to popular belief i am not crazy

so apparently early next week i will have a physical to make sure my ticker works fine and then i dunno

Hoover called me while i was in my psych eval. I have an interview with them next thursday at 3pm.

for the 4th i plan on just sticking around tuscaloosa i guess. driving back and forth from bham everyday doesnt really make me wanna get on the road, ya know?

i have a job interview monday at 2 o'clock for jefferson county. looks like i am going out and buying a pants suit :). I'm pretty excited. they seem like they are wanting to get people in soon so i'm considering them pretty hard now. I have not heard back from the other agencies.

June 30th - 2 o'clock interview, jefferson county

August 16th - shelby county corrections written exam

that's all i have on my upcoming calendar of events

ok so i'm sure the last couple of posts i have been complaining about not hearing back from job applications and so on, well, here is the low down:

June 3rd - Hoover Dispatch exam. made a 90 on the test, but i dont speak a foreign language or have previous dispatch experience so i doubt i will hear back.

June 7th - i took the shelby county deputy physical agility test. did the damn thing, passed, and now waiting to hear back from them. they said it's a 6 month hiring process, its the job that pays the most and that i want bad bad bad, but i need something to pay the rent in september

June 17th - Hoover detention officer physical agility test. did the damn thing, passed, and waiting to hear back from them. this one seemed very promising so i hope to hear from them soon. I was the best female to finish

June 28th - I will take the Jefferson county physical agility test. this one pays the least out of all the agencies i applied for, so i hope i get offered something before these guys offer me anything. they told me that i have to pass on the 28th, i graduate on august 9th, and i will start the academy on august 11th (granted i'm not crazy and I have good credit, haha).

so this is what's goin on with me...

Academically, paper is almost done. final draft has to be turned in July 25th, and i think i am ahead of schedule. tomorrow i will turn in another copy. i hope i dont get this one back like i got the other one... with red marks all over it...

this song makes me cry:


"I Will Not Forget You"

I remember the nights I watched as you lay sleeping
Your body gripped by some far away dream
Well I was so scared and so in love then
And so lost in all of you that I had seen
But no one ever talked in the darkness
No voice ever added fuel to the fire
No light ever shone in the doorway
Deep in the hollow of earthly desires
But if in some dream there was brightness
If in some memory some sort of sign
And flesh be revived in the shadows
Blessed our bodies would lay so entwined

[CHORUS]

And I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you

I remember when you left in the morning at daybreak
So silent you stole from my bed
To go back to the one who possesses your soul
And I back to the life that I dread.
So I ran like the wind to the water
Please don't leave me again I cried
And I threw bitter tears at the ocean
But all that came back was the tide...

[CHORUS]

i have the shelby county police physical fitness test this weekend. i am scared shitless.

please please please get me in

so after a weekend of fun in the sun i realized that i need to make more money so i can travel to see all my friends. i miss them already

Speak, speak your mind
You're always telling me I need to open mine
And wait, Wait your turn
Then shut me out cause you've got nothing left to learn

Oh you say there's nothing wrong with being proud
So tell me what you love and say it loud
Now here's the dose that you've been dishing out

If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts

Oh I'm wrong, I'm wrong again
But not because of where I stand but where I've been
And it burns, you know it burns like hell
To know there's nothing I can do but wish you well

You say there's nothing wrong with being proud
So tell me what you love and say it loud
I've been good enough to stay and hear you out
But you're wrong
You're never wrong

You say there's nothing wrong with being proud
Yeah, so tell me what you love and say it loud
I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt

(If you're listening this is how much it hurts) (x4)

why do we as a race try to work things out when we know it is time to simply just let go? realize that people change, times change, decisions are made, and life takes different courses. If we would all sit back and realize that every little decision in life is a step in "a" direction, whether it be the right or wrong one, there isn't really a choice to "hold time still" because being stagnant is in fact making a decision to stay put, is it not?

I know I am probably the most callused person ever by stating some of the things I have said, or feeling the way that I do, but I think it's because I understand human nature and I know everyone else has goals they must achieve, people they liked more than me, or maybe that they didn't like me at all. regardless though, i have my memories, and I have fall 2005 when crew was amazing. I don't hate it now, and i wish no one else did, cause i realize that things go differently that we all think that it will. people think they will remain friends forever just like high school. i realize i am a vagabond friend at heart. I just wish i had some way to let those people know how much they really meant to me.

I will miss megan the most from this year. I will miss marge the most from this past summer. i will miss stephanie and scooz the most from last year. i will miss cristin, sarah, and lan the most from the year before. i will not miss anything about the year before that because i broke my stupid leg and wanted to kill myself. i will miss elliot and dustin the most from the year before.

that sums up my years here at bama. i'm sorry it seems like i have a one year term out for my friends, i hate i am that way. please dont think i cared any less for you as the years went on. i just feel like i am a chameleon of a person and i start feeling different... it's hard to explain. I wish you all the best and i hope this time here is not the last we will hear of each other.

i can't wait to get out of this stage in my life. i feel now like i am in a waiting room, and i can't get up and get a number until i fill out the hella long form, and then once i do that the line is hella long... my life right now feels like i am stuck at the DMV.

one thing i wanna change right now: I cuss way too much. I need to stop that.

i absolutely HATE those days where you get in a rutt and cannot get out. I'm sad and unhappy. as i lay here on the couch at 2 in the afternoon on a tuesday (i totally just decided i didnt wanna be at work anymore and walked out), i wonder what depressed people do. I am usually optimistic. I know a friend of mine who is depressed a lot, she drinks when she gets like this. I thought about it, and, while the sound of becoming an alchoholic for one day might seem enticing to some, i actually am one of the rare people on the planet that does not like the feeling of being drunk or the thought of wasting an entire day because of dehyration reasons.

damn it i thought depressed people were irrational. i need to be irrational for once

SON OF A B!!! I got my letter in the mail from the county that I want oh so bad. Shelby county invited me to take the physical agility exam on no other date except for SATURDAY MARCH 8th!!! the same date that the Jefferson County exam WAS on but i was able to get it moved due to the fact that me as well as others will be out of the state. I hope to goodness it will work out to where I can re-schedule a time. If not, Larry will be pissed.

so the muscles that connect my legs to my body ache with pain. stupid squats. I ran for 3 miles for the first time in about a year again and felt pretty good about it. I mean...i know it might be hard to believe... but i might, just might be finally getting back into shape again. I love how people can do things when they absolutely HAVE to.

Please God don't ever let me become a fat cop

soemhow all is right in the world and i'm not real sure how it worked out. There was a re-schedule in the physical exam for later in the week, apparently a lot of people had time conflicts. So i can still go to UNC. Now i'm just sitting in the office waiting for Justiss to come order food... for a fat kid trapped in an ethiopian body she sure knows how to procrastinate. Then I'm going to lunch with Larry at Moe's so he can meet the catering manager. I'm so hungry.

and yes sarah... phil writes the 80's soundtrack to my life ;)

13:07... hell yeah. now if I can just get those damn push ups that'll be great

so i just got off the phone with the Jefferson County Police Department. Good news, i'm invited to take the physical exam!!! bad news, it's March freakin 8th. I'm supposed to be in UNC with crew. awesome, fantastic, wonderful. So i call marina and straight up she's like, dude it's win win: You can (a) go to UNC and state how i can't get out of work and not worry about failing the physical because i'm not push up ready or (b) pony up and rock the damn physical and miss a boring race. I told her option b and she was happy for me. now I gotta tell Larry.

Hey, it's not the one i really want BUT the main goal is to be employed come graduation. Some money is better than NO money right?

i last wrote back in november... awesome. quick up to date:

SCHOOL - I should be writing my thesis instead of writing in this. Update on that, i said FUCK steroids I don't care anymore. New topic - the UCR report posted by the FBI every year and why it is wrong. I'll graduate in August now because I sold my soul to larry davis. Just kidding, he game me free school I can give him a summer.

WORK - I do office hours and team travel. I like it. WHat I don't like is that there is apparently a shit ton of drama going on with those who used to be my friends (don't read into that it's my fault) and I don't have a clue what's going on because I'm never at water practice. I hope when it gets warm i will start going for the hell of it

LIFE - things are good. I have three possible jobs working at the moment. my one and only goal to be employed upon graduation. I can't afford a layover.

So that's it. Kylie is growing like a weed. Hailey decided to like me again, and basically I can't wait for it to get hot outside.

PS - the grammy's made me download a bunch of Tina Turner. I hope I can look like that in my 60's... I got the hair i just gotta keep the legs in shape and maybe get a little facial botox

weight: 118 lbs
Body fat: 24.7%

everday: 5 to 6 meals that total:
1700 calories
80-100g of protein
300g of carbs
50-70g of fat

calorieking.com will apparently become my new best friend

every pre and post workout shake needs to have atleast 20g of protien in it and 60g of carbs. that's two a day of that. I need to stretch my stomach